Balance.

I have been writing on paper more than ever recently and so for that reason I have not written to the world in a while. I actually lost my brown, leather journal that I have been writing in so much, it is as though it vanished into thin air. With me one day, gone the next.

I have been talking to absolutely everybody as always. To me, there is no reason not to talk to everybody weather you know them or not, a hello to a stranger goes a long way. I can’t not speak or smile to whom ever walks past me.

I am finally in a place from within side of myself where I feel strong and in control. I have been weak in the past but I have always carried the potential to shed my weakness and grow strong. People have always had more confidence in me than I have ever had myself. My own negative thinking and self-destructive behaviour have held me back for so many years. I feel free from myself. I feel as though I have broken free from one of the biggest obstacles I will ever face in my entire life and this is the battle of self-destruction with myself.

I am free. My journey has not been easy or quick; it has been so I difficult and there have been so many points where I wanted nothing more but to die. I managed to confront my demons head on a deal with them one by one. I am so proud of myself. I am also so appreciative for the people who have helped me to find my way by influencing me for the better.  I have never had better friends in my life or met better strangers.

I have not had the easiest battle to fight; nevertheless I have found my way and have more than enough space for eternal self-growth. My mind is open, open to everyone and everything. I can speak about my feelings openly, something I have never been able to do. I have always carried such anger; all I could feel in my heart was hate and sadness. Everything is colourful now, tings are bright and my heart is open.  

Writing helped me to heal so much.

I am on a beautiful journey, life. My journey continues to evolve and be as thrilling as ever. I am doing the things that make me happy, looking after my mental and physical health, keeping the peace with everybody and everything and simply being at one with the universe.

I am so excited to see my path unfold over the years; I see great and beautiful things for myself. The future is bright. 

I have unlocked my energies that have been trapped in a box in a place in my mind; I am ready now to share them with you all. 

I was always in exceedingly high spirits, energized and full of life, or horrifically depressed on the verge of suicide. I could never find a medium place. Up down. I have found my balance, life is beautiful now.

I wont go into my general thoughts about the state of the world at this current moment in time, that is a whole other obstacle I must try to change with a lot of help. I am on my way.   

I hope you can find your way too.