Acid.

The rave was in a secret location in Brixton, the location was not disclosed until ridiculously late on the Saturday night.  I went with Gerry and his friend Shaun.  I had never met Shaun before, I just met Shaun in the taxi on the way to the rave but Gerry had told me about him before over the phone so I suppose I felt like I knew him little bit already. Shaun’s eyes had recently been opened to a new sort of life and this was to be his first rave experience.

After a relatively long and not so picturesque drive we arrived at our point of destination, it was nothing more than a little wooden gate, nothing more than a little wooden gate to a regular passer by, but to us it was where our psychedelic evening would unfold.   

Beyond the little wooden gate smiley happy faces greeted us, Gerry introduced Shaun and I to some of his friends, he is a total regular of the raves you see.  There was a bomb fire with bum like people crowded around it who were clearly trying keep warm since it was such a bitterly cold night. The people were smoking, chatting and they generally appeared to be having a good time.

In we went, Shaun, Gerry and I, we paid a £5 entrance fee to the not so clean shaven, fairly old lanky black man standing in-between a cloak room sort of walk way, it wasn’t outside yet it wasn’t exactly where the party was. After we paid our £5 the man moved aside and allowed us to wholly enter the party.

As we enter I’m hit by the atmosphere, there is so much to take in and there are so many new faces that I have never seen before. Each person unique in his or her own way, I’m very much looking forward to what is in store for me by this point.

The first room was evidently the ‘relax zone’ where one would go when they wanted to chill out away from the madness; some people were already in that state of mind and so were laying on the beanbags that were spread over the floor. The room was calm and there where psychedelic throws hung all over the walls. The three of us head toward to second room, it was dark but not dingy, there were glowing throws hung all over the walls, the trance music was loud and went straight through your body, people were dancing, lights were flashing. The three of us took in the atmosphere, found out feet and removed our jackets. I went to the toilet, there were only two but I waited until my turn. I always find the whole waiting in line for the toilet slightly awkward, not uncomfortably awkward just strange.  There were all types of people dancing around me as I waited in line. After I had peed I found my way back to Gerry and Shaun, they were by the ice cream bar.

This place was your usual psychedelic environment full of crazy free spirits each dressed in there own unique style all appearing to be having a good time. Gerry and I got straight down to business and found the guy with the acid, he dropped the acid onto our hands and we licked our hands making sure to lick it all off in order to get the full effect. Shaun had never taken acid before and he didn’t feel like tonight was the night for it to be his first time after all and so he took some MDMA instead. We were standing next to the ice-cream bar when the above events of acid licking took place, the girl serving ice cream offered me some for free and I accepted.  After acid licking and free ice cream Gerry and I got a balloon each and took to the dance floor. I wasn’t high on acid yet, only high on life. We inhaled our balloon; breathing in then out, then in then out and each went far out into our own world for a little while.  There’s nothing quit like the rush you get from taking a nitrous oxide balloon, it goes straight to your head and all there is, is the moment you are in, you forget about what’s around you and it feels as though you are going to remain in that moment forever, for the rest of your life, until you simply snap out of it and come back down to earth and silently wish to yourself that you wish that moment would have lasted longer but it doesn’t and you move on.  

After dancing for a while Gerry and I went to chill out on the beanbags in the chill zone. We socialized for a bit but then the atmosphere became a little intense for me, I felt trapped and needed to get some air. By now I was undoubtedly up on the acid.  I became hot and so Gerry and I went outside to cool down, we found a spot of our own in the scrap yard like garden, we climbed some wooden scrap blocks until we reached a high point that gave us an over view of the bum like people standing around the bomb fire. At the time I never questioned where he was but Shaun was nowhere to be seen and it had been a while since I saw him last.  Gerry and I relaxed for a while then went back in to party. I am not going to go into my whole acidic experience, as that alone is a fascinating story, this story is simply to tell you about the shared experience of being at the secret rave. I will however tell you that my trip turned for the worse and became painfully dark but it later evolved to be incredibly beautiful and I could have stayed in that beautiful place for a lifetime.  Anyhow, now back inside Gerry and I danced for a while, I had my bag on my back but I wanted it on the floor so I could dance more freely but due to the acid I felt somewhat paranoid to leave my bag on the floor, usually I would have no problem in doing so but surrounded by unfamiliar strangers I felt horribly uncomfortable leaving my belongings in the floor.

I went to the toilet for the second time and again there was a queue like before. There were two toilets opposite each other but it seems as though the left hand toilet was the only one in use since somebody was taking a really, really long time in the right hand side toilet. Eventually it was my turn to be next and I poked my head in through the toilet on the right as the door was not shut and I wanted to know why this person was taking so long or if there was even anybody in there at all, since I have a habit of waiting for empty toilets, not intentionally it just works out that way. I looked in and sitting down on the toilet with a ridiculous sun hat on was Shaun. It was as though he was hiding under his had thinking that nobody could see him, it truly was fucking hilarious. I called for Gerry and Gerry came to get him, I guess this environment was not for him after all. Of all the places to be, he was in the toilet, this is not a club with many toilets, you cant just hide in there its not fair to the people waiting especially as he didn’t even lock the door its as though he wanted to be found and I did indeed find him. After finding Shaun and after I had peed, I danced some more but then became to overwhelmed by my own imagination, I needed to go back outside to calm down but it felt as though it didn’t matter where I went, inside or out, this particular environment was not doing me any favors.

I told Gerry I was leaving, he told me to stay but as a result of my previous acid trip I knew this particular feeling oh so well and I would have been a fool if I had not learnt from my previous mistake and I didn’t listen to my heart. Like I said I’ll go into detail about the trip some other time but yes I did end up deserting the premises, running down the road and jumping in a random taxi. I talked to the taxi driver the whole way home, I felt as though I could talk to him since he seemed to be not far from my age, I described what it was like to be on acid and I illustrated to him all the things I was thinking and feeling. I was feeling somewhat manic but I knew I had some things to untangle before I would snap out of this particular mode of insanity.

I have learnt that I love acid but I don’t love acid in an environment filled with people I do not know, I like to take it in a calm relaxed environment where my mind can wonder and not over think things and get freaked out by other peoples actions. I also learnt that you must not lie to yourself, you must listen to yourself and you must trust your instincts’. I did know all of these things already but they were all confirmed to me in the most intense way possible. I feel as though all of these principles are so imprinted on my mid that I will never forget again.

Here is to opening your mind and tripping.