History.

I was in a very self destructive mood today. These things happen.

Carpet Man.

We were chilling out in the kitchen/living room, we were catching up, talking about life. Getting stoned, listening to music, chilling out. We had arranged for a guy to come over and clean the carpets. He came. I was smoking weed from my wooden pipe when he arrived. He spotted our bag of weed on the table when he put his equipment down on the floor and said, every apartment he goes in to in these apartments where we live, he always sees a bag big of weed on the table. I offered him some. He accepted with no hesitance. We all got stoned together then he cleaned the carpets and we continued to talk about life.  

Tripping on Animals.

We had been out in the forest raving with nature and her brilliance all night long, we had been dancing, listening to music, smoking joints and taking acid. The night was colorful, and wonderful and beautiful and brilliant. I can remember it like it happened less than 3 minutes ago.

I eventually decided to venture home; I wanted to experience the remaining hours of my trip from my house.  I arrived home a while after leaving the forest. I explored my house, nobody was home to play with. Home alone. Although I was not hungry I thought I should feed my body, as I had not eaten in quite some time.  I opened the fridge not knowing what I wanted to eat, only knowing that I wanted to feed my undernourished body. 

There was a white paper bag inside the fridge with some thing inside of it. I took the bag out of the fridge and opened it up on the kitchen counter, inside was a cooked chicken.  I stared the chicken for a moment or two maybe even three. 

Instantly everything changed. All the beauty there ever was in the world turned to thick darkness. Burning hot flames enclosed me. Oranges, reds, yellows. My hair became possessed with snakes. I had embodied medusa. My snakes were hissing at me. They came from all  sides of my face. There was no escaping them. Hissing. Hissing. Hissing. My snakes were very, very upset with me. The chicken from the white paper bag that I had found in the fridge was far from simply just a chicken anymore. What I saw before me was not a cooked chicken but many, many different animals all that shared one body together each with unique faces of their own. Cheetah, elephant, more snakes, lion, panther, bear, iguana. Every animal you would encounter if you were a Masai warrior in the Masai Mara of Kenya.

I very much freaked out; I threw the ‘chicken’ across the kitchen counter and ran in to the other room to sit by the fire. I knew I had to sit there to calm my snakes down. I had to sit there and mentally explain to them that I was not going to eat the chicken. After a few minutes everything calmed down, my snakes forgave me, I lay on the floor in a peaceful, tranquil state for hours. Occasionally I would cry with joy at how beautiful the world is. I will never forget this moment in time when I momentarily lost my mind. 

I was reminded of this experience that I had one Sunday a few years ago, as a result of something that happened to me today. I had been out for a morning adventure. I woke up, laced up, had a joint on the balcony then was on my way. I had no particular destination in mind as usual, I just felt like rolling with it and seeing where I end up. I was listening to Bob Marley, I was feeling amazing, on top on the world. There was not another human in sight, only people in their cars going to where every they were going too. I ended up walking around for over an hour, I made a few cool discoveries of some graffiti that I had not discovered before. I eventual began to make my way home so that I could do some training in the studio. After some chai tea and body training in the studio I made my way upstairs to my house. I was in the mood to eat a carrot. 
I went to the fridge to grab a carrot and in the fridge was an unfamiliar bag that was not there yesterday. I imdeedianty knew my roommate had been out for dinner and had baught back left over’s. I opened the bag on the kitchen counter to see what goods he had brought home with him. There were 5 different boxes. I opened one as the box was misted thus I could not see clearly into it to know what was inside. I opened it up. Inside there were crab legs. I picked one up to look at it closely. Weird thing to do, I know. Instantly I was taken back to that place I went to when I was tripping on acid in my kitchen on that Sunday morning all those years ago. I felt sick, my body was tingling, I threw the crab’s leg back in to the box and pushed it far away from me. I took a moment to recover from this sickening sight. An unfortunate crab mutilated in a box on my kitchen counter. I threw the crabs legs in the sink. I could see them moving; they were kicking like the used to when they were free. I was repulsed; I could hardly even pick them up to put them in the bin, as these legs were very, very much alive. They were not just legs in my sink anymore; I could see the full on facial features of many crabs all looking at me in shame. I felt guilty putting the crabs legs in the bin, as did I feel more guilty for having them in my fridge. 

Here is to veganism. 

Thursday.

I was chilling out listening/ singing to Metallica through my speakers whilst rolling around on the floor stretching, and occasionally looking up at my laptop or journal to write down certain things that were flowing through me. I feel as though my smile is bigger and better than ever today. I am so happy. So what if I am currently stoned, I was smiling like this way before I took a hit on my bong. May you feel this way, may this feeling last forever for us, may this smile always touch my ears. 

Monday.

I was out on an adventure; my mission was to work on my latest film script. I had been writing for a while, and so I decided it was time for a change in location. I walked around Vegas for a little bit, decided to get some food as I was starving; I stopped off at a café and ordered a bite to eat.

I was sitting down eating/ watching the world go by when this guy asked me if he could sit down and join me. He didn’t have any food with him so it was not because he wanted to sit down and eat his meal with me. Sure, why not I thought.  We got to know each other a little bit. He is from Michigan but has lived in Los Angeles for over 10 years. He told me I looked like a warrior; I told him that it was because I am a warrior. Turns out he is in the film business and is an x boxer. He works on independent films. He used to work as a personal trainer when he was in a transition period from having a career as a boxer to not. He also studied anatomy and physiology at UCLA. He was a pleasant guy; interesting.. He had scars on the tops of both of his left and right eyelids from various fights in the ring from back in the day when he was a boxer. He said he stopped boxing, as there was not enough money in it for him to risk his life in such a way.

He asked me what my agenda was for the day. Up until this point in our conversation I had not discussed with him that I was remotely interested in film at all, even though he had told me he works in the film business. I told him what I was working on in terms of my film but the full details as I never give my ideas away unless it is to somebody I fully trust. As well as my film script, I also told him that I was on a mission to earn some money today. Every time I feel like I have relaxed enough, I think about ways in which I can make some money without getting a ‘normal’ job. This guy stands up, gives me $30 and gives me his business card, tells me to look him up on IMDB and give him a call if I want some help making my film when I am done working on my script.

I do not know as of yet if I will ever call him, although he was interesting I do not believe we connected on a serious level other than in the moment of conversation. But who knows, if he is who he says he is then my next film may be more great than I had previously visioned. The script is already great; I am proud of it and excited to make it happen. Here is to random strangers with kind hearts, safety and determination to do the things you love to do.  

MDMA.

We each took a capsule, a short while after, we began rolling. It was a very colorful adventure that lasted all night and day. This was not my first time and it will not be my last.    

The Run.

As I was running through the backstreets of Las Vegas I was the epitome of free. The moon that I so much adore was as full as full can be, Bob Marley was playing through my headphones, and I was so blissful as I pushed my body to its limit. On the contrary I ran passed a crime scene. There was a man sitting on the curb of the road with his hands handcuffed behind his back. There were many police cars, police officers, ambulances, and paramedics. Madness.    

Thursday Dreamer.

I woke up this morning at 6 am with the intention of going for a run. I was so tired I turned my alarm off. I had gone for a run under the full moon just before I went to sleep that night. I like to alternate my runs from day to night. I have to run either early morning or late evening as it is far to hot out here in Las Vegas to run at any other time. Eventually when I did wake up,  which was because my phone would not stop ringing, I grabbed a pair of jeans and a tee shirt then proceeded with my to-do list for the day. I attended to everything I needed to attend to once I had been awoken. Bumped in to a few friends today whist I was out doing my thing and made a new one, Dallas, she is super cool, happy and interesting, I also walked Newton my favourite dog out here in Vegas.  

I then came back to my apartment and lay on the sofa, which is unusual for me as I spend most of my time on the floor, including for sleeping, chilling and everything else accept showering. I feel more zen there. Anyway I ended up falling asleep and waking up to various phone calls every so often but I decided to keep on sleeping. My body must have been really tired today as this is a far from normal thing for me to do. Part of the reason I could not make myself get up and do more productive things, aside from the fact I had done all my essential things for the day, was because the dreams I was having were so intense and amazing, I thought I would just roll with my sleep and let all these dreams keep flooding in. I had a new dream every time my phone woke me up.  I am fully awake now; soon I will go for my run. There are two more hours to go until darkness falls in Vegas. 

Love.

Every time I fall in love with a new person there is always that one song that stays with me that reminds me of my love for ever after we have gone our separate ways. I move around a lot, which is why I have had many loves over the years, all brilliant, intriguing and incredible in their own ways.  I get itchy feet often as I continuously seek adventure and new things from life on a daily basis. Life is too short and the world is too big for me to stay in one place and stay with one person for the rest of my life, I am young, there is a lot I must do before I settle, if ever. I belief I will forever remain a drifter. Drifting. May my collection of music that reminds me of my lovers continue to grow. May they continue to be wonderful people, they will forever remain remarkable parts of my history and my memories of them and the fun and wild adventures we had together will always make me smile. Here is to Love, may you all find it.  

Vegas Walls.